Feb 24th, 2010, 12:04pm
If not everyday then couple of times a week I learn new lessons. Lot of times they are not worth a big blog post but I would still love to share with you all. So I have decided to start a new series “What I learnt today “. Here goes the first one-
“Problems have nothing to do with situations, but with one’s reaction to them.
“What’s happening is merely what’s happening. How you feel about it is another matter.
A lot of times we face problems and our immediate reaction is to have the situation responsible for it. It just satisfies our ego to have a situation/person wrong and prove itself right. Situation is there but how we interpret it and make stories make all the difference
For eg It’s raining
–The story you tell yourself “Its a miserable day”
My spouse didn’t give me a gift on our anniversary
– The story you tell yourself - “He/she doesn’t love me anymore”
I lost money in gambling
– The story you tell yourself - “I am the one unlucky person ”
Situation and your thoughts about it are two very different things. If you accept the situation as it is and control your thoughts about it, you will see you are controlling your problems. The realization that “My thoughts about the situation are creating problems and not the situation ” will set you free. The best part is that you might not be able to control the situation but you can surely control your thoughts.
Ofcourse its much easier said than done but for sure doable
Disclaimer : This post has been inspired by “Power Of Now” by Eckart Tolle . I highly recommend his books.
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February 24th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
You are absolutely right its not that easy to follow but its doable.
I will try my best to follow it. Thanks for sharing it.
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shweta Gupta reply on February 25, 2010 7:21 am:
I am sure that if you try your best then you will be able to do it
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February 24th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Heyy Shweta,
As always it was great reading this post. I feel if we truly follow this then life will be so much better.Keep up the good stuff.
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shweta Gupta reply on February 25, 2010 7:21 am:
Thanks Amita. I will really try to be more active now.
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February 24th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Very true.
Covey also said a somewhat similar thing-
http://www.papatoto.com/article/635921784649/The_90_10_principle_by_Steven_covey
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shweta Gupta reply on March 5, 2010 12:44 pm:
He is REALLY good. I truly appreciate his stuff.
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February 24th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Yet another good post from u!!
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shweta Gupta reply on February 25, 2010 7:22 am:
Thanks Shylu.
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February 24th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
With me also it’s the same. There is everyday something new that some situations teach me, or i like to learn from everyday events. And i try that after a point situations don’t hamper or so to say take over my mood.
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shweta Gupta reply on February 25, 2010 7:24 am:
Ya you are right. As they say “Life itself is our greatest teacher provided we are ready to learn”. Good to see your positive self back
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February 25th, 2010 at 3:24 am
Bingo…absolutely on target. Yes, our reactions lead us often to misery……….shall be waiting for more such ‘learnings’
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shweta Gupta reply on February 25, 2010 7:23 am:
Thanks. I hope it wont be too much of wait
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February 25th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Agreed. What’s happening is merely what’s happening…then why tweet on twitter? hahahha
Excellent post Shweta! Examples-very contemporary!
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March 2nd, 2010 at 10:07 am
u asked us to control our reaction but dint tell us how to go about it…:)
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shweta Gupta reply on March 2, 2010 2:49 pm:
You need to be aware of your thoughts in order to control your reaction. Suppose something undesirable happens and you are aware of how you are thinking then you can choose whether you want to get angry or take it lightly.Most of the times these thoughts are so powerful and they try to drag you completely so you need to be extremely aware of them to control them. Usually mind exercises , breathing exercises and meditation help you in becoming more aware of your thoughts/reaction.
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March 2nd, 2010 at 9:51 pm
If you were a guy, you would make one hell of a lover!
On a serious note, this was one of the basic teachings of Buddha in his 8 fold path.
On a further serious note, life is too complicated to theorize or formulize - so give it up already.
But if you insist; be like a child - mind like water.
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March 18th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
may be to ”regulate” one’s thoughts is better than ”control”.I guess behind each act their should be lot of love and compassion. The last scene at the graveyard in the movie “Dead man walking” comes to my memory in this context.
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April 27th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Thanks Shweta. You are doing nice efforts.
I will apply this theory and let me see the result.
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June 3rd, 2010 at 3:06 am
Hi Shweta,
You have correctly said. Most of the times, we cannot control ourselves,which further worsen the situation..
Nice learning i must say
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